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Are you feeling down in the dumps... deceased? Have friends and family stopped calling you now that you're 6 feet under?

Well, fret no more!

Dansen Technologies has the answer to all your afterlife problems.

Ressurectos!

Within these little pills is a potent life-giving recipe which is guaranteed to bring you back to life. Simply take one in the morning after a full moon on your planet (or moons) and drink a glass of water. You'll be your old self in no time.

Check us out at FLUXNET: 405-4003-3030.